If you are reading this, then you are probably feeling lonely. Don't worry, you are not alone. We have all been there or are currently there right now. It doesn't feel good at all. Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless. The good news is that there are ways to deal with loneliness and get you through that sense of isolation, of dread or of darkness. Here are 10 practical tips to help you deal with Loneliness!
Tip # 1: Remind yourself
Constantly remind yourself that your loneliness is temporary. You will not be lonely forever and there will come a time when you won't feel like you do anymore. This entails changing your internal dialogue. If you are having trouble with this, read 5 Ways to Shift your Mindset and Embrace a Positive Outlook.
Tip # 2: Change your setting
If you are feeling lonely, it might be because you are stuck in the same setting or scenery. Make an effort to put yourself in new settings where you can meet new people. Engage in activities that will allow you to get to know new people. Places such as a church, sports club or knitting club. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you have a genuine interest in it. This way, you will meet people with the same genuine interest.
Tip # 3: Change the music
Stop listening to music or songs that will keep your mind in a lonely place. Songs such as All by Myself by Celine Dion will just make you feel as if you should be lonely. Try and listen to music that will make you feel more inspired to get out there and meet new people. Not to say you can't listen to lonely songs ever, but if they are making you feel more lonely then stop listening to them for now.
Tip # 4: Open up more
Sometimes loneliness is a product of how closed off we are from other people. Take Ann-Marie for example, a 50-year single woman living alone with her cat. She convinced herself that she is supposed to be alone. She would always keep to herself everywhere she goes. Never taking the time to open up to others and share in any common human experience. She became so unapproachable to others, which ultimately was causing her loneliness. She needed to let others in so that she could create more relationships and connections to others.
Tip # 5: Seek different kinds of relationships
If you are feeling lonely, you might be thinking that only having a romantic partner will solve this. Simply not true! Seeking out all kinds of relationships such as friendships or buddies or acquants is just as important as having romantic relationships. Variety is key especially if you end up with a failed romantic relationship.
Tip # 6: Re-evaluate your values
One of the reasons why you might feel lonely is because you don't have the right people in your life. Have you outgrown your friends because your values and their values are no longer compatible? Do they like to party too much but you are looking to have a more settled life? If that is the case, you need to sit down and re-evaluate what your new values are. This way, you can start to align yourself with new people holding those same values. In our values mini course, we show you how to name your values and align them with your goals.
Tip # 7: Find balance
Oftentimes, we overlook the role nutrition, exercise and sleep plays in our overall well-being. Having any of these elements out of balance can create depression, which can ultimately lead to feeling of loneliness. Are you doing enough in each of these areas of your life( nutrition, exercise and sleep) to create a sense of balance in your life? If not, it is time to take a good look and see if they are adding to your feelings of loneliness.
Tip # 8: Be of Service
Serving others and extending yourself to others is one of the best ways to minimize loneliness. If you are always trying to help others, then, you will automatically be surrounding yourself with other people. There is also this feeling of fulfillment and love that comes with helping others. Feelings that can sometimes replace your current feelings of seeing yourself alone. Get out there and volunteer, help someone else and in return you end up helping yourself.
Tip # 9: Learn a new skill
Learning a new skill is a great way to feel better about yourself. Feeling accomplished is not only gratifying, it also helps to change the chemistry in our brain. Knowing that you have achieved something new will go a long way in helping you feel like you are not alone. It will elevate the way you think about yourself. Also, learning a new skill will presumably means that you are doing it around other people. Take Phyllis, a 45 year self-proclaimed recluse, who took a woodworking course for the first time at the beginning of this year. She always wanted to learn how to make something with her hands but was too afraid to get out there and do it. Finally, she signed up for a course at the local community center in her town and was beside herself once she completed the course. Not only did she make an awesome coffee table, but she also met John, who is is now happily dating.
Tip # 10: Pray/ Meditate on it
It doesn't matter what religion you are, prayer is almost part of whatever you believe in. Spending time praying is a great way to release the things that you cannot control and allow a higher power to take care of it for you. Feeling lonely is sometimes a product of many other things. Prayer or even daily meditation is a great way to center yourself. To create a sense of peace within yourself. Having that comfort will allow you to see your life differently. It will allow you to count your blessings. Maybe you will realize that you are not so lonely after all.